send me your joke or tail to nick@jencav.co.uk

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes.. for best effect read out load

1. That's not right............     Sum Ting Wong

2. Are you harbouring a fugitive?   Hu YU Hai Ding

3. See me ASAP..............................Kum Hia

4. Stupid Man................................Dum Phuk

5. Small Horse ...........................Tai Ni Po Ni

6. Did you go tot the beech.........Wai Yu So Tan

7. I bumped the coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8. I think you need a facelift...............Chin Tu Fat

9. It's very dark in here.................Mai So Dim

10. I thought you were on a diet..Wai Yu Mun Chin

11. This is a two away zone..................No Pah Kin

12. Out meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao

13. Staying out of sight............................Lei Ying Lo

14. He's cleaning his automobile..............Wa Shin Ka

15. Your body odour is offensive..............Yu Stin Ki Pu

16. Great.................................Fa Kin Su Pah

Thanks to Steve & Lucy for this one

caption time again, thanks to the guys from the D3 forum for the picture!

Man in D3 says "Does my bum look big in this?" form Gary C.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want, just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no-one will answer.

If you are anxious just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal-retentive, please hold.